Where are we heading???
He was a tall, fair and well-built man when he bumped into her. They fell in love instantly and started living together. Their symbol of love - a cute baby girl with green eyes and golden hair - was born soon. Their relationship went through ups and downs as the child became a naughty kid of age 7. One fine morning they decided they cudnt stay together anymore. Everything about their relationship - love, marriage, kid ,dislike - had been dynamic and fast. And the split followed suit. They were divorced. All that he went thorugh with her was like a fast-paced action movie for him - thrilling twists and turns, intermittent bursts of emotion ..but nothing concrete to cherish or brood over. The only thread still connecting him to the past was his innocent daughter. He loved her dearly and cursed himself for losing her to her mother.
The deal was this - The child stays with the mother. The father pays a hefty compensation every month and is (in return??) allowed to meet the child for 2 hours every forthnight. He had to talk to her, tender her, tell her his long-accumulated bed-time stories, buy her candies,kiss her and above all - remind her that she does have a dad - all in 2 hours!!
It was three months since they had parted ways. He had always paid the compensation on time. It was the sixth time he was meeting his child. Hardly an hour had passed, and the child was to be taken back so that she prepares for her exams due next day. He stood the pain in his daughter's interests and reserved all that was due for the next time. The next time around, the child was taken away in half-an-hour since she had a medical check-up. The ensuing month was Urlaub(vacation) time for the mom and kid...or rather cremation time for his soul.. . Exams,check-ups, vacations -they kept coming ...his soul kept burning ...he slowly became a non-entity in his daughter's world..Disaster struck in the form of a transfer. His fone calls went unattended. His bday and christmas gifts were never opened...But the money never refused...
Two years since divorce, she found a new partner for herself. And as a natural consequence, the "burden" was dumped on him....He cherished every moment with his daughter...He wished the clock never ticked - coz he dreaded the thought of his child's future. Insecurity filled his mind when he tried to answer the hardest question - "How long is this honey-moon...how long will she be under the spell of her new-found partner...how long will my daughtie keep changing her details in school....."
He knew her so well. The new partner wasnt worth a penny - and it showed in his getting fired a year after their marriage. The mother suddenly missed her daughter so much ...coz the affection will fetch a monthly 250 Euros from the givernment...The ball was back to square one...
Years rolled on ...He had long lost his tall, handsome look...Shades of gray had filled his hair....The vacuum pump in his company rolled on mechanically - he was used to this vacuum now....It was his daughter's 20th bday and he knew she was in town......He tried to break the ice and wish her... and got a "have u ever acted like a dad to me??" in return....
60% of the divorce cases in Germany are ruled that the kid should remain with the mother. And the lady in this story represents 95% of the divorced women!!
A light-hearted, silly "german culture is great...u guys can split so easily when u feel like" from me was all that was needed to trigger off this nostalgaic,piteous tale from my colleague...He owns 10% of shares of a prosperous firm, drives one of the costliest BMWs and has enuf reserves to holiday for a month in Florida....Raghavendra Rao, at 92, with eight kids, 40 years of toil , and not even a tenth of his salary behind him is much more content and happy.....
Indian husbands are MCPS ....Patriarchy puts women in hell....they shud have the right to part ways ...all agreed!! But in a land where marriage and an ensuing kid are default, is divorce really a sustainable solution?? We run after money...We believe women's liberation is synonymous to just letting them act as senselessly as men in taking cynical decisions...Where are we heading??
I am not attacking Womenfolk. I am not justifying what has happened to many Indian housewives...I am not generalising this story...But can surely understand why the aunty next door never went for a divorce from her drunkard-husband....
The deal was this - The child stays with the mother. The father pays a hefty compensation every month and is (in return??) allowed to meet the child for 2 hours every forthnight. He had to talk to her, tender her, tell her his long-accumulated bed-time stories, buy her candies,kiss her and above all - remind her that she does have a dad - all in 2 hours!!
It was three months since they had parted ways. He had always paid the compensation on time. It was the sixth time he was meeting his child. Hardly an hour had passed, and the child was to be taken back so that she prepares for her exams due next day. He stood the pain in his daughter's interests and reserved all that was due for the next time. The next time around, the child was taken away in half-an-hour since she had a medical check-up. The ensuing month was Urlaub(vacation) time for the mom and kid...or rather cremation time for his soul.. . Exams,check-ups, vacations -they kept coming ...his soul kept burning ...he slowly became a non-entity in his daughter's world..Disaster struck in the form of a transfer. His fone calls went unattended. His bday and christmas gifts were never opened...But the money never refused...
Two years since divorce, she found a new partner for herself. And as a natural consequence, the "burden" was dumped on him....He cherished every moment with his daughter...He wished the clock never ticked - coz he dreaded the thought of his child's future. Insecurity filled his mind when he tried to answer the hardest question - "How long is this honey-moon...how long will she be under the spell of her new-found partner...how long will my daughtie keep changing her details in school....."
He knew her so well. The new partner wasnt worth a penny - and it showed in his getting fired a year after their marriage. The mother suddenly missed her daughter so much ...coz the affection will fetch a monthly 250 Euros from the givernment...The ball was back to square one...
Years rolled on ...He had long lost his tall, handsome look...Shades of gray had filled his hair....The vacuum pump in his company rolled on mechanically - he was used to this vacuum now....It was his daughter's 20th bday and he knew she was in town......He tried to break the ice and wish her... and got a "have u ever acted like a dad to me??" in return....
60% of the divorce cases in Germany are ruled that the kid should remain with the mother. And the lady in this story represents 95% of the divorced women!!
A light-hearted, silly "german culture is great...u guys can split so easily when u feel like" from me was all that was needed to trigger off this nostalgaic,piteous tale from my colleague...He owns 10% of shares of a prosperous firm, drives one of the costliest BMWs and has enuf reserves to holiday for a month in Florida....Raghavendra Rao, at 92, with eight kids, 40 years of toil , and not even a tenth of his salary behind him is much more content and happy.....
Indian husbands are MCPS ....Patriarchy puts women in hell....they shud have the right to part ways ...all agreed!! But in a land where marriage and an ensuing kid are default, is divorce really a sustainable solution?? We run after money...We believe women's liberation is synonymous to just letting them act as senselessly as men in taking cynical decisions...Where are we heading??
I am not attacking Womenfolk. I am not justifying what has happened to many Indian housewives...I am not generalising this story...But can surely understand why the aunty next door never went for a divorce from her drunkard-husband....
posted by krishna canchi @ 11:43 AM
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